So I've been thinking about moving to a different part of Tampa in the next couple of years.  I have found the area of town that seems to "fit" our family and have been really excited thinking about all that the area has to offer and how close we'd be to our friends.  And then Joe called.

He is still really fired up about the St. John's River in Jacksonville, he says every time he goes up his desire to work there permanantly gets even stronger.  They are anchored outside the river right now.  He says when he's there he feels like it's "his" town, it just feels like where he's supposed to be.  He's indifferent to Tampa Bay and he hates the Mississippi.  He has a year and a half until he is a Mate, and at that point he is fair game to work for any company he chooses.  He has mentioned working on a harbour tug in Jacksonville to learn the river and get to know the pilots in the area.  Working on a harbour tug involves being home regularly, so naturally this means we'd need to live in Jacksonville.  If and when he ever becomes a pilot, he would be home every other week, so we'd also need to be relatively close by.

Essentially, if becoming a St. John's River pilot is his career goal, that path will take us back to Jacksonville.  I don't want to leave when the girls are in middle or high school, I refuse to do that to them.  If we are going to move, I want to do it within the next few years.  I could live there just as well as I can live here, either place is fine.  But I just want to be in the place I'm supposed to be and stay there.  I don't want to keep packing it up and moving every few years, I want to know where my life is going to be.  So this has thrown a wrench into my plans of moving within Tampa.  Everything has to now be reconsidered.  So much thinking and talking to do. 

And how weird is it that ultimately, we could end up back where we started.  It took me a while to adjust to living here, but I sucked it up and accepted the decision we made.  I went out and made friends and began a life.  And now, the place it took me so long to give up as home could potentially be my home again, but I'll have to start all over.  Just like I did when I came here.  What a strange, weird circle.

"airplanes take you away again, are you flying above where we live...then i look up, a glare in my eyes...are you having regrets about last night...i'm not but i like rivers that rush in so then i dove in...is there trouble ahead, for you the acrobat, i won't push you unless you have a net...you say the word you know i will find you, or if you need some time i don't mind, i don't hold onto the tail of your kite...i'm not like the girls that you've known but i believe i'm worth coming home to, kiss away the night, this girl only sleeps with butterflies, with butterflies, so go on and fly then...balloons look good from on the ground, i fear with pins and needles around we may fall then stumble upon a carousel, it could take us anywhere...i'm not like the girls that you've known but i believe i'm worth coming home to, kiss away the night, this girl only sleeps with butterflies, with butterflies, so go on and fly boy..."